Cars Fight Back!

Disgruntled cars protest by squatting on public lands outside the U.S. Capitol.

Cars, Trucks Protest Against Placemaking
Fearful of losing their long dominance of the streets, millions of autos stage massive park-ins in public spaces around the nation to protest pedestrians and alternative modes of transportation.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As more communities successfully reclaim their streets for people, cars are taking to the sidewalks in protest, honking loudly in support of automotive autonomy. The protesters, who also include pick-up trucks and tractor-trailers, claim that they are the rightful kings of the road and refuse to share street space with pedestrians, bicycles, and other modes of transportation. Leading experts at Meineke, Aamco, and Bill's Auto Body claim to have treated over 80 million automobiles who have sustained scrapes and internal injuries while occupying public spaces in the past month, but the estimate is widely believed to be inflated.

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