Monday, September 11, 2006

Toronto cyclists shocked by commitment of local cycling activist.

Toronto - September 11th, 2006

Jake aka Allderblog, was committed over the weekend after his friends attempted an intervention. Concerned that Jake's aversion to the automobile was depriving him of experiencing the world several of his friends got together and did an intervention. Initially they were quite successful with their approach and managed to hog tie him and get him into a minivan. After undoing his restraints he agreed to start the minivan. He continued to do quite well and started the vehicle. After a few seconds the minivan filled with exhaust at which point Jake went bug eyed. After more than a minute of being exposed to the exhaust Jake completely lost control and went berserk. While he did have control of the van he could not go far as he was on Toronto Island. In short order Toronto paramedics attended the scene and were able to restrain Jake inside an ambulance. He was then transported to Holiday House where friends claim he is getting the best psychiatric care available under OHIP. There are unconfirmed reports that General Motors Canada offered to pay for first rate treatment for Jake at a facility at Gitmo Bay, Cuba. Jake reportedly refused the offer, apparently shouting the odds about GM using Americans in their Canadian advertisements.
There are unconfirmed reports that Jake was on Toronto Island for his wedding. No word yet if the intervention occurred before or after the wedding. Though there were still more unconfirmed reports that a raging bride was spotted driving a GMC minivan erractically on Toronto Island in pursuit of Jake's friends.
Photo exclusive to BLD.

1 comment:

Steeker said...

Derek from the bike joint will be getting married next :-P