TORONTO CYCLISTS TO CHANGE DIRECTION By Paulo Reminisci Special to The News TORONTO April 1, 2006 The Toronto Cycling Committee has announced significant revisions to the Queen's Quay bike lanes. Beginning today, the eastbound lane will become westbound, and the westbound lane will become eastbound. This is, according to planner Don Nagee, "So the traffic pattern will actually conform to what cyclists are doing now. "Currently, where the Martin Goodman trail meets the Queen's Quay bikelane east of the Redpath Sugar plant, eastbound cyclists, instead ofcrossing the street to the westbound bike lane, simply head west in theeastbound lane.Toronto Cycling Committee co-chair Abram Zamboni concurred, adding, "Right now hordes of cyclists go the wrong way on Queen's Quay. We'remaking it the right way. We don't care how traffic is 'supposed' to act. We're cyclists and we'll do as we please."Cycling instructor Mel Trachiotomi commented on the effect of education on cyclists. "You don't think we could actually educate them to ride logically? This hasn't been our experience. Almost nobody takes atraffic cycling course in Toronto. But loads of them take Adult Learn How to Ride. We can teach adults how to balance, more or less, andteeter along, but to cycle as part of traffic is just something we're not prepared to deal with. We're changing our courses to reflect thistrend. We won't bother with traffic skills any more. We'll just teach balancing and pedalling. "Committee staff person Brenda Wordsmith confirmed the decision. "This will certainly make my job much easier. I've worked like a slave fortwenty-five years trying to educate cyclists. Now I can take a break. Maybe I can actually go for a ride. I'll just have to train myself to break the law."A spokesperson for Activists Re Cycles confirmed this. Nadeen S. Lee said, "Who needs education anyway? What with all the lines we've painted on the roads, nobody needs a course! The lines tell them where to go!"When this reporter pointed out the cyclists going the wrong way on Queen's Quay, Lee retorted, "No, they're going the right way. The roadis going the wrong way! "As for cyclists who may follow the law and cycle on the right side ofthe road, fellow activist Bruce S. Lee commented, "Well, they're the ones who need 'education'. I'm tired of know-it-all cyclists who thinkfollowing the law is the right thing to do. We do as we please, andhaving stripes painted on the roads pleases us."Schools' rep on the Committee, Crofton Marley, added that painting the stripes is more cost effective than education: "It's only a lousy can ofpaint, way cheaper than teaching how to cycle! "When shown the behaviour of cyclists who rode the wrong way on Queen'sQuay, and asked whether they needed training, Marley blurted out, "Whatdo you mean, 'training'. They can pedal. They can balance. It's the Citythat needs training. They need to be trained to paint stripes on theroads." Added Marley, "It's just a can of paint. How much can that cost?" "According to our research," Don Nagee commented, "directing the flow oftraffic contrariwise to the established order will provide increased cyclist visibility and greater efficiency of cyclist-traffic flow. Thecontiguity of the specific design encourages the evolution ofcycle-commuter-based infrastructure enhancement. It is in keeping withthe Toronto Bike Plan which aims for bike-friendly infrastructure. This will also help grow the bikeway network, as it keeps bike lanes in thepublic eye. "When asked about the potential increase in collisions, Nagee responded,"Well, that's certainly in the public eye. It doesn't matter what kind of publicity, as long as they know it involves a bike! "When asked if he'd heard of the Shared Space concept (where streets have no pavement markings) which is spreading through Europe, planner Nagee replied, "What?!! "Shared Space, also known as Naked Streets, does have one supporter in Toronto. Cycling Allies of Ontario director Chris Braveheart said, "Naked streets? That's for me! Where do I ride?! Just let me get myclothes off! What's the temperature out there? "Other members of Activists Re Cycles confirmed their support of "wrong way" bike lanes. "We're still mad at Abram Zamboni for supporting those narrow lanes on Royal York. We've been secretly discussing going out late at night and cutting down the trees so that both cyclists whoactually occasionally use Royal York can 'feel' safe," said one, who wished to remain anonymous, "Then we can change the direction of those lanes, too!" Another member added that Royal York was "too far fromdowntown" for them to actually cycle there. "Maybe we can rent a truck."Bruce S. Lee made one final remark: "We can finally do what we want onthe road. Now for the sidewalks!"
Read on in the comments.
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TORONTO CYCLISTS TO CHANGE DIRECTION
By Paulo Reminisci
Special to The News
TORONTO April 1, 2006
The Toronto Cycling Committee has announced significant revisions to the Queen's Quay bike lanes. Beginning today, the eastbound lane will become westbound, and the westbound lane will become eastbound. This is, according to planner Don Nagee, "So the traffic pattern will actually conform to what cyclists are doing now.
"Currently, where the Martin Goodman trail meets the Queen's Quay bikelane east of the Redpath Sugar plant, eastbound cyclists, instead ofcrossing the street to the westbound bike lane, simply head west in theeastbound lane.Toronto Cycling Committee
co-chair Abram Zamboni concurred, adding,
"Right now hordes of cyclists go the wrong way on Queen's Quay. We'remaking it the right way. We don't care how traffic is 'supposed' to act. We're cyclists and we'll do as we please."Cycling instructor Mel Trachiotomi commented on the effect of education on cyclists. "You don't think we could actually educate them to ride logically? This hasn't been our experience. Almost nobody takes atraffic cycling course in Toronto. But loads of them take Adult Learn How to Ride. We can teach adults how to balance, more or less, andteeter along, but to cycle as part of traffic is just something we're not prepared to deal with. We're changing our courses to reflect thistrend. We won't bother with traffic skills any more. We'll just teach balancing and pedalling.
"Committee staff person Brenda Wordsmith confirmed the decision. "This will certainly make my job much easier. I've worked like a slave fortwenty-five years trying to educate cyclists. Now I can take a break. Maybe I can actually go for a ride. I'll just have to train myself to break the law."A spokesperson for Activists Re Cycles confirmed this. Nadeen S. Lee said,
"Who needs education anyway? What with all the lines we've painted on the roads, nobody needs a course! The lines tell them where to go!"When this reporter pointed out the cyclists going the wrong way on Queen's Quay, Lee retorted,
"No, they're going the right way. The roadis going the wrong way!
"As for cyclists who may follow the law and cycle on the right side ofthe road, fellow activist Bruce S. Lee commented, "Well, they're the ones who need 'education'. I'm tired of know-it-all cyclists who thinkfollowing the law is the right thing to do. We do as we please, andhaving stripes painted on the roads pleases us."Schools' rep on the Committee, Crofton Marley, added that painting the stripes is more cost effective than education: "It's only a lousy can ofpaint, way cheaper than teaching how to cycle!
"When shown the behaviour of cyclists who rode the wrong way on Queen'sQuay, and asked whether they needed training, Marley blurted out, "Whatdo you mean, 'training'. They can pedal. They can balance. It's the Citythat needs training. They need to be trained to paint stripes on theroads." Added Marley, "It's just a can of paint. How much can that cost?"
"According to our research," Don Nagee commented, "directing the flow oftraffic contrariwise to the established order will provide increased cyclist visibility and greater efficiency of cyclist-traffic flow. Thecontiguity of the specific design encourages the evolution ofcycle-commuter-based infrastructure enhancement. It is in keeping withthe Toronto Bike Plan which aims for bike-friendly infrastructure. This will also help grow the bikeway network, as it keeps bike lanes in thepublic eye. "When asked about the potential increase in collisions, Nagee responded,"Well, that's certainly in the public eye. It doesn't matter what kind of publicity, as long as they know it involves a bike!
"When asked if he'd heard of the Shared Space concept (where streets have no pavement markings) which is spreading through Europe, planner Nagee replied, "What?!! "Shared Space, also known as Naked Streets, does have one supporter in Toronto. Cycling Allies of Ontario director Chris Braveheart said, "Naked streets? That's for me! Where do I ride?! Just let me get myclothes off! What's the temperature out there? "Other members of Activists Re Cycles confirmed their support of "wrong way" bike lanes. "We're still mad at Abram Zamboni for supporting those narrow lanes on Royal York. We've been secretly discussing going out late at night and cutting down the trees so that both cyclists whoactually occasionally use Royal York can 'feel' safe," said one, who wished to remain anonymous, "Then we can change the direction of those lanes, too!" Another member added that Royal York was "too far fromdowntown" for them to actually cycle there. "Maybe we can rent a truck."Bruce S. Lee made one final remark: "We can finally do what we want onthe road. Now for the sidewalks!"
Well this is most intresting Bro , How do you feel about this ? :)
it is about those arseholes at arc
Well, first of all it's an April Fools joke.
Arseholes, ARC. Hmm. Can't think of any.
LMFAOOOOOO Dude three day's late :P Cheers...........
i am an arsehole. told hat everyday by autos. if you are not an arsehole you are not a cyclist. still arc is not funny. they need better writers.
What a strange comment.
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